The concert

    My favorite moment of Sag Harbor is without a doubt when Benji describes being at the U.T.F.O concert when the bass is about to drop. I felt it was perfect scene because, even if it was just for a night, Benji could finally stop thinking about his father's abuse, his struggles fitting in, and the challenge of discovering himself. He could relax and enjoy.

    At home, Benji clearly has a difficult time relaxing because of his father. In fact, he would rather take extra shifts at the ice cream shop to avoid seeing his dad on the weekends. In Manhattan, both Benji and Reggie struggle making friends at school. Benji is painfully aware that they don't fit in with their white classmates and even the surrounding community makes it clear to them. The lack of friends at school made Benji and Reggie dependent on each other for company which gave Benji a lot of anxiety surrounding discovering his true self.

    Benji's struggles all culminate to the moment he is at the concert. With tension and excitement building, Benji gets subconsciously more and more anxious. When they realize that Marlon isn’t there and they haven’t been put on the list as U.T.F.O said they would do, Benji probably loses all expectation of their plan working. Getting in begins to seem even more unlikely than before, so when Benji and NP are waved through, Benji’s sense of anxiety and hopelessness vanishes. He can let go and enjoy with relief knowing that their plan worked out. The atmosphere is electric and it’s easy for Benji to blend into the crowd and disappear, something not possible in his everyday life outside of Sag Harbor.

    I really loved this scene because I felt that it was the moment Benji finally started discovering himself. He didn't need to worry about his father, his white classmates' judgements, or the lack of familiar faces around him. Benji was able to let go of all the daily stresses that seeped into his life and truly find himself. He can just enjoy and feel it as his perfect night is about to start.



Comments

  1. MitchellMay 27, 2021 at 10:19 AM

    There's definitely some irony in the fact that, for all his worrying about his clothes and what messages his t-shirts and sneakers send about his identity, this moment you describe where Benji is finally "discovering himself" and losing his self-consciousness happens when he is dressed in clothes that he calls a "disguise," deliberately looking kooky and "preppy" and not at all cool. This seems important: he isn't describing a first concert where he sees an awesome group and looks cool and can now say "I was there." It's a goofy and weird scene, definitely very 80s and cheesy, and he's seeing what is essentially a novelty act riding the momentum of their one-hit wonder. But as you describe it, it is a magical moment for him, and that has everything to do with his loss of self-consciousness, his ability to just *be* in the moment, in the crowd, reacting to the music.

    This phenomenon he describes is real, and it's happened to me many times. We've maybe forgotten about the transformative potential of a mass live-music event over this last year of venues being closed and no live events happening at all, but hopefully we can rediscover it this summer!

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