London in Love

 Since we met Richard in Mrs. Dalloway I’ve been considering whether he truly loves Clarissa or not, and it’s become quite clear to me now that Richard definitely does love Clarissa. 

The clearest piece of evidence I have is simply considering the values during the time Mrs. Dalloway is set in. In the 1920s, many husbands not only didn’t respect their wives, they abused them physically and emotionally because they thought they were completely entitled to that. Even then, when it wasn’t very frowned upon, husbands beating and abusing their wives was not out of love. It was purely about exerting their control over women. Richard is a breath of fresh air compared to these types of husbands. From all that we’ve seen, Richard does not think of Clarissa as his possession or an object. In reality, it’s the exact opposite. Richard feels grateful and lucky to be married to Clarissa and he thinks his life is great because of his relationship with her. 

The other main reason I think Richard definitely loves Clarissa is because of the time he takes out of his day to get her flowers. This small act is how Richard is trying to express his love for her and it’s even more impressive considering the time. As I mentioned before, in this time period men were not expected to treat their wives with even the slightest amount of respect. The fact that Richard doesn’t abuse Clarissa and also takes time out of his day to do something special for her is shocking. Even now, buying flowers for a significant other on any random day is seen (to most) as a wonderful act that shows their appreciation and love. Even if Clarissa’s idea of a romantic gesture was not necessarily having flowers bought for her, she could still appreciate the kind act and realize it was his way of showing he loves her. 

So, while from our modern perspective, it may seem as though Richard is an uncaring and unloving husband, he is clearly enamored with Clarissa. However, he is only able to showcase it in a way that English gentlemen of the time were allowed to. I believe that it is important to have an understanding of the time period and setting when consuming this piece of literature. With this perspective in mind, it is easy to see the love that Mr. Dalloway has for Mrs. Dalloway.


Comments

  1. KatelynOctober 3, 2020 at 12:15 PM

    While I do agree completely that Richard is utterly enamored with Clarissa, I do think that it's more than just our modern lens that makes Richard seem cold at first. For example, Clarissa feels that she has failed Richard and although she thinks of him fondly, it isn't with a whole lot of opinion as she thinks of other characters. So although Richard is incredibly sweet in some internal respects and a few external ones as well, Clarissa still feels the weight of the patriarchy to do more for him, a weight that not even Richard can remove or begin to understand.

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  2. ArianaOctober 15, 2020 at 8:39 PM

    I think Richard is definitely a good guy, who probably loves Clarissa very much. They're relationship is seemingly stable, and both are content. Although, I would say Richard is far more content than Clarissa. Richard is arguably very happy even, while Clarissa may just be content. I think Richard simply has no insight as to the struggles Clarissa has faced as a woman evolving under strict Victorian convention; this does not mean that he does not love her (as you have pointed out).

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  3. DinaOctober 17, 2020 at 6:09 PM

    I completely agree with your conclusion that Richard is in love with Clarissa. He's just TERRIBLE at showing it. Well, not terrible, as he did make the effort to get her flowers. You bring up a very good point in your post. Time period. When I was thinking about Richard and Clarissa's relationship, I realized that I was not taking into account the time they were living in at all. When you brought up the fact that so many husbands would physically abuse their wives at the time this book took place, it just goes to strengthen the argument that Richard actually loved and cared about Clarissa very much.

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  4. Zachary's History as Fiction BlogOctober 17, 2020 at 7:36 PM

    I definitely agree with your logic and your conclusion here, and I definitely consider Richard to be an all-around really decent guy, but definitely someone who has shortcomings in figuring out a show his love. Woolf does a great job making it clear to the reader that Richard would've been a better choice for Clarissa than Peter, although Peter's shortcomings have to do a lot with that. But I think Wolf does a really good job not completely romanticizing him, and she showing the reader that Clarissa is losing a passionate relationship. Richard may have passion for Clarissa deep down but he is so bad at showing it, you definitely can't call their relationship passionate.

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